November 15!

November 15th! Woo Hoo, I am halfway there, just 15 more days to go with my challenge of positing everyday to my blog.  Thank you so much to everyone that has taken the time to read even one post, or share a comment, I am humbled and grateful.  

Today was my first day off in 8 days.  Covid has definitely reared its ugly head again and that means more work, more documentation and more regulatory hoops to jump through as we work to ensure our residents and employees are safe. It feels like we’ve been locked in battle with this invisible threat for more days than I can remember. Life is not normal for any one that works in long term care or calls a long term care facility home. My days are spent worrying about PPE, ever changing regulations, and restrictions; I feel like we spend more time talking about what we can’t do instead of what we can do. 

Early on during the first or maybe even the second waves I struggled to lead.  The feeling of absolute overwhelm was hard to fight.  Somewhere, somehow I lost myself in the global pandemic.  I was no longer a leader that tried to find ways to buck the traditional norms of long term care, I was now the torch bearer for enforcing all of the rules; lest we end up on the news, another tragic statistic that is the constant vilification of my industry.  I was bound and determined that I would do everything possible to keep Covid out.  In that effort I lost who I was, I let the grief, shock, depression take over.  

Now that we are in the third wave, (for real people stay home and wear your mask, this third wave is not going to be pretty,) I have learned how to step away, to breathe, to care for myself, to look for the loopholes and find the nuance in the rules.  To figure out how to walk the line of safety and protection; but also finding joy, living life and connecting with others.  It’s not easy, none of this has gotten any easier; my heart still drops when the news of a new positive employee or even worse a new positive resident comes my way, but I am learning everyday.  Learning how to stop saying, “I can’t handle this,” and to start saying, feeling and thinking, “How will I handle this?”  How will I lead?  How will I continue to find light in what can sometimes be a dark world?  (Thank you Jennifer Louden! https://jenniferlouden.com/writers-oasis/). 

I CAN continue to lead my team through this pandemic 

I CAN Take Better Care of Myself 

I CAN Continue to Share My Story and My Experiences 

I CAN Continue to Bear Good Fruit  – “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. A branch can’t produce fruit by itself, but must remain in the vine.  Likewise, you can’t produce fruit unless you remain in me.” John15:4 CEB. 

About AuntJenFox

I'm a 45 year old single woman living in Dallas, TX. I'm a licensed nursing home administrator, runner, Aunt, and Mom to a Welsh Corgi puppy named Eloise and a cat named Gracie. My life is anything but boring and I learn something new everyday.
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