“So I stood on the pale, peach-colored sand, watching the fox, as it opened like a flower, and I began to pick among the vast assortment of words…” Mary Oliver, Fox.
Today is my 47th Birthday. I wasn’t really planning to post anything today, earlier in the week I was hoping the day would just pass without much fanfare. To be honest the past 2 weeks have been rough, which is saying something when I look back at the totality of 2020. Just a week after receiving our first dose of the Pfizer Vaccine my community entered into what has probably been our worst Covid-19 outbreak amongst residents and staff since the pandemic hit, but it’s no wonder when you look at the spike in activity in the surrounding areas. After managing two vaccine clinics, and having just climbed out of a minor outbreak over the holidays, it has been somewhat dispiriting to feel like you are losing the battle again. So I think it is understandable when I say that earlier this week, I just didn’t feel like celebrating anything, I just wanted to spend the day in my pjs with the covers pulled up over my head.
But here I am, and I have to say I had a pretty good day. I woke up before my alarm clock and actually got out of bed, no snooze button. I had a good early morning walk around CityLine with Elosie and got my usual morning wave from the shuttle driver we see each morning, managed a somewhat decent run for me and even washed my hair and put on real work clothes; not the scrub pants, Banana Republic Sweaters and sneakers I’ve been favoring the past several months (I am sorry but scrub pants are just comfortable and the pockets!) The best part of the day was that we had no new positive cases to report, that I had meetings about future projects that weren’t centered around Covid, and I left work before 7:00 p.m. For all these things I am grateful. I am grateful that my family and friends have been relatively unscathed thus far from the ravages of the pandemic. I am grateful for my team at work, who continue to rally to meet each new challenge and do it with humor, compassion, and love. I am grateful that I am still able to run, that a complete stranger always looks for me in the mornings to wave (and not in a weird worrisome stalker way), that we have a new administration that seems to care about our country and wants to take action to end the pandemic. I am grateful that in the midst of it all I actually do feel a small flicker of hope.
It goes without saying that 2020 was just not a good year, my world was drastically altered and not in good ways; but as I reflect on 2020 (which up until now I’ve been reluctant to do, thus no New Year’s or 2020 recap post) I see so many little things that make me smile, that have changed me for the better. The lessons learned have been hard, but I know they will serve me well. So while I really wasn’t looking forward to turning 47 (just 3 years away from 50!), I am excited for a new year. For a chance to explore new interests – hiking and camping- to get back on track with writing and to figure out where and how I can be of service to others outside of work. I am looking forward to traveling again, connecting with friends far and wide and to learning new things. The tunnel is still long and dark, but I can see the pinprick of light at the end. Happy Birthday to Me!