Happy Monday Everyone! I’d been planning to write a post about my experience running the Back to the NFL 5K at the AT&T “Cowboys” Stadium with my family this past weekend, and I will, but today I’m in a funky mood so you’re stuck with hearing about my new life in Dallas.
I’ve been averaging about 100hrs a pay period at work recently and I worked all day yesterday so I took this afternoon off. I was really looking forward to it until I had to leave. We had a meeting this morning to look at a new software application and then I was done. No where I had to be and nothing specific that needed to get done and as soon as I walked out of the door from the meeting and said goodbye to my boss I felt lost…what do I do now? I could go home, but home is not really my home yet. I could run errands, but that’s not really any fun and Dallas just doesn’t feel like my city yet, not the way Kansas City felt like my city. And then my work cell rang and I felt saved. It was a quick conversation that resulted in about 5 texts and 2 emails, but sadly that quick connection to work made me feel better, not so lost. By the way my former shrink did give me the proper diagnosis of being a workaholic a condition I chose to embrace.
Most of you know that 3 months ago I packed up my life into a “Pack-Rat,” storage container and moved to Dallas for a new job, a job I LOVE, to be closer to my family. My sister and brother in-law, who are AWESOME, opened the door to their home to me and Eddie, my 5-year-old Welsh Corgi. For those of you that don’t know me well I’ve not lived with anybody in over 15 years. So this experience has been both wonderful and challenging at the same time – wonderful because I get to see my nieces and nephew more, challenging because as welcoming as they have been it is still their house – not mine and 95% of my stuff is still in a storage unit somewhere in Dallas.
I feel like right now my townhouse in Kansas City is hanging around my neck like an albatross. I had thought renting it out would be relatively easy, but so far no takers and the management company called today to talk about lowering the price. Now I wonder if I shouldn’t go ahead and list it and try to sell even at a loss? My sister jokingly mentioned just letting the bank foreclose the other night and that doesn’t seem like such a bad idea right now, not that I would ever do that. 5 years ago buying my townhouse seemed like such a great idea, but now… ugh!
The last 3 months have been surreal for me, I’ve been living in this transitory state, so I’ve thrown myself into the tangible things that I know how to deal with like work and marathon training. And trying to focus on the positives of living with my sister like snuggling with my niece and reading bedtime stories, seeing first hand what an amazing teacher, mother and wife my sister is and how patient my brother in-law is to put up with our crazy family and all the quality time I get to spend in my awesome car – a Volkswagen Eos – if you must deal with Dallas traffic you might as well do it in a super fun to drive, hard top convertible…
I am learning a lot about myself and finding some validation in the choices I have made. I Love my nieces and nephews dearly and would do anything for them, but I am certain that being a mother is not in the cards for me. But I am also learning that it is possible to share your life with people and still hang on to who you are, yes you do have to make compromises but living with someone is not the all or nothing proposition I thought it was.
So if anyone wants to buy or rent a two bedroom townhouse in Spring Hill, KS call me! In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying princes tea parties, reading bedtime stories and getting lots of hugs and kisses which is pretty awesome.
And yes, I really should have been studying for my boards instead of writing this post. But now I think its time to go home…