Good Evening Friends –
I don’t have much to say tonight, it was a long and busy weekend of work thanks to Covid; that just bleed right on over into Monday. I am tired and need some sleep, but first I wanted to share a few thoughts.
I don’t care who you voted for, here’s one thing I know for sure – Covid -19 is not a hoax, it is very real, so real that the current administration continues to enforce stringent regulations and restrictions on long term care facilities. I just wish everyone could come and experience the life my residents live, little to minimal contact with their family members, very little contact with their neighbors, 3 meals a day served to you in your room in disposable containers, everyone around you in masks and varying forms of PPE. If the Covid doesn’t get them the isolation and accompanying depression and decline will. My own family’s experience is that Mom has only seen her sister once since March and I’ve not seen my aunt since February as the case counts continue to rise in Oklahoma. I don’t mean to be a downer here, but this is my story and my journey and right now I am back in the swamp that is Covid-19.
I still remember the first time a resident tested positive for Covid, I was devastated. We had worked so hard to follow all of the rules, pulled up the drawbridge, battened down the hatches, and laid in our surplus of supplies. We had done everything right, but yet someone tested positive. I still remember crying in the car on my way to go pick up Eloise, feeling like I had failed. Little did I know that I would experience losses and challenges that would make my first brush with Covid pale in comparison. Now, while it angers me that we’ve had an exposure and I wonder, I am almost numb to the experience; almost. I almost don’t care about the results of our infection control surveys, but at the end of the day I do care. It pains me to tell family members that their loved one tested positive, I worry. I worry about me, I worry about my staff, I worry about the residents. I can’t help it.
It is hard. It’s emotionally and physically draining. So tonight I am proud of myself for coming home and still doing the dishes, cleaning the litter box, and getting the clean sheets on the bed. I am proud of myself for taking a few minutes to keep my writing streak alive, for returning my sister’s phone call, and doing 5 minutes of legs up the wall (google it if you’re not a runner.) I need to tell myself that I am doing a good job, I am good at what I do, and I am hear for a reason and grateful that I was directed to the community I’ve worked at over 5 1/2 years ago. I think it is important to be your own cheerleader sometimes.
So with that I must wish you all a good night, it is way past my bedtime and there is no way to know what surprise are in store tomorrow.
Wear your mask, practice physical distancing and wash your hands!