Why?

So I am just 2 weeks late with this check in/update, sorry about that I have some mental baggage that I am working on cleaning up around writing and sharing my story and not feeling like an imposter. I am currently doing a lot of work on self sabotage, because honestly I think there’s a lot there in my head that is holding me up with sitting down and doing the work with this blog.   But aside from that I fee like over all my training is going well, like most people I have ups and downs, but overall I can feel my body getting stronger and my fitness returning which is exciting.  Strava gives you a handy dandy graph of your fitness and I love seeing it returning.  

With writing and running my brain is still my biggest obstacle.  For instance I pretty much stress all week about my long runs and I don’t know why.  I am not being asked to run anything that is outside of my physical ability and I am not currently running distances or for periods of time that are unknown to me, but I still just have a lot of drama going on around these runs.  But right now I am feeling good, despite a disappointing long run today, about the direction I am headed in and looking forward to seeing how the rest of this rebuilding block goes. 

I thought for this week’s check in I’d try to delve into the topic of why.  Why would anyone in the right mind run a 6 Day Stage Race that covers 120 Miles, 20,000 feet of elevation gain at altitude.  Something must be wrong with a person like that or there was probably a time in my life that I would have thought so.  I very clearly remember listening to Mirna Valerio, the @mirnavator on the Rich Roll Podcast way back in 2018, Episode 340 https://www.richroll.com/podcast/mirna-valerio/.  I was already vaguely familiar with the TransRockies Run, but it was never something I gave much thought to.  I was following my friends along the triathlon trail and ultra distance running was just not in my focus.  And then I heard Mirna talking about TRR, for some reason she caught my attention and I quickly became an avid fan of the races’ Facebook group.  When the race finally happened it turned out that I actually knew people racing that year!  I followed along and learned that there is an amazing community that has developed around this race.  But is that enough to want to put yourself through the hours of training, through the challenge of trying to run at altitude for distances that prove challenging for the strongest of runners?  I am a mid to back of the pack runner, why would I ever think of taking on such a challenge?  Why would one podcast be enough to set me on a course to tackle this challenge? The answer is, why not? Why can’t I tackle something so challenging?  Why can’t I push my mind, my body, my soul and my heart to see what’s possible?  Why wouldn’t you want to spend 6 days in one of the most beautiful places (Colorado), climbing mountains, making new friends, making new memories?  I mean there’s just something about this race that just sets my soul on fire, it makes me want to go to bed early so I can get up early and log my miles, it makes me want to actually do my strength training, think a little more carefully about what I eat and why and drink my water.  I think if we are all honest with ourselves we all have something: a hobby, a dream, a goal that’s sitting deep inside us, waiting to explode.  For me, it’s being outside, sleeping under the stars, joining the amazing TransRockies Community and seeing just how far these short little legs can go. 

I wish I had more sound reasoning, but I don’t.  It’s just like my desire to write; I don’t always understand it, given that I hated writing in high school and college. But now the call to write is there, always taunting me, calling my name.  And so are TransRockies, the mountains of Colorado and my desire to stretch myself, to grow, to learn and become a stronger, healthier, version of myself. 

About AuntJenFox

I'm a 45 year old single woman living in Dallas, TX. I'm a licensed nursing home administrator, runner, Aunt, and Mom to a Welsh Corgi puppy named Eloise and a cat named Gracie. My life is anything but boring and I learn something new everyday.
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