Here we are, December 31st, 2019. I am flying west in an effort to make the last day of the year last about 3 hours longer, well not really.  I’m headed to Vegas to ring in the New Year with some of my favorite people. I’m fairly certain that if I look back there’s a post on this blog from January 1, 2019 talking about all the things I wanted to accomplish in 2019 and I’m pretty sure if I went back and reviewed said list I’d probably find I’d not really accomplished any of those things, and that’s okay. This is not really a post about looking back and rehashing what did or didn’t happen. 2019 was not the best of years.  While I did move to a new apartment and a new neighborhood, and Eloise the world’s cutest Pembroke Welsh Corgi came into my life, and I had an absolutely amazing experience at the Wilder Alumni Lab; I am ready for 2019 to be done. I try really hard to neve wish away time, but I can’t wait to ring in the new year and welcome 2020 with open arms. 

I get the feeling that 2019 was hard for many of us; the loss of parents, illnesses, failed races, failed relationships, broken bodies and broken minds.  2019 did not turn out to be the year I expected. I am writing this post today to hold up the agreement that I made with myself a few weeks back to write. To practice writing and to explore the thoughts that come to mind.  I am writing this post in an effort to show up for myself, to not hold back and to not choose to just bury myself in another episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills; to face head on the things that sometimes keep me awake at night. To acknowledge the negative thoughts that I find hold me back and keep me from going after the life I really want.  

Life is crazy. Life is unpredictable. Life will happen while I am sitting on the couch binge watching some crazy TV show, life will happen while I spend countless hours scrolling through Instagram and Facebook.  Life will happen while I choose to waste time at work and end up getting home late. Life will happen, the clock will strike Midnight and as 2019 exits stage left 2020 will enter stage right and I want to write a different script; instead of living this half life where I dream and talk about the things I want to do, but end up in a spiral of exhaustion and overwhelm and never really do anything at all. I want to write the script where I run the trails, paddle the streams and lakes, love my body regardless of my weight and I don’t DNF my bucket list race.   Today I am writing and I am staking my claim to a year of Joy, a Year of getting off the proverbial couch and finding my way forward. To not worrying so much about what other people might think and to embracing new things. “The old things have gone away, and look, new things have arrived!” 2 Corinthians 5:17.  So I wish all a very Happy New Year, may we learn from the experiences 2019 and I hope that 2020 brings us all more light, more love, and more peace.